What is self-reflection and how can it help you discover your purpose in life?
This week we will continue the discussion and deepen it with talking about self-reflection and how important it is in your journey to discovering your purpose in life.
What is self-reflection? Self-reflection essentially is when you take time in your day to slow-down your thoughts, emotions and actions to give deep consideration and thought to an event, issue, aspect or really anything that is on your mind.
It is the process of thinking through the what, the how and most importantly, the why. Why do you feel what you feel? Why did you act how you acted? Why is this thought important to you or why is that issue truly an issue for you? Self-reflection allows you to deeply understand the situation and your role. More so, it also helps you develop empathy for yourself and others. We often feel a certain way or act a certain way for a particular reason. There is a reason we feel this way. And self-reflection helps us to connect deeper with ourselves to discover and understand the WHY.
If you take the literal and most common meaning of “reflection,” it is often in reference to our reflection in the mirror. When we look at a mirror, we want to see our full selves. What we are doing, how we look or the look closer as a blemish or other parts of our body. If we think of self-reflection in this way, we realize that we need to to self-reflect to look closer into our minds, our souls and our bodies. This inner reflection is the most important aspect to understand ourselves. It allows us to listen to our minds and souls and finding our purpose in life.
Self-reflection is a daily (if you can) practice where you give your mind, your soul and your body undivided and undistracted attention to work through what it is that is blocking you from achieving your purpose in life, your happiness and a sense of peace.
Benefits of self-reflection
Self-reflection allows you to work through your feelings, thoughts and any issues or trouble you may be having. By taking the time in your day to understand and evaluate why you feel how you feel, and perhaps writing it down on paper, helps to alleviate anxieties, uncertainties and reduces the feeling of being overwhelmed. It provides you the opportunity to gain perspective. Which allows you to fully understand what matters, what does not and how to set your boundaries to move forward. Where do you and what do you need healing from? What brings you joy and how can you create this experience more often in your life?
“The unexamined life is not worth living.” – Socrates
We have to reflect on our lives, our patterns and our feelings to understand why we feel and act the way we do? And ultimately, what is the deeper meaning of this? How do we get out of the hamster wheel of reaction? How do we move forward? It all lies within the realm of self-reflecting and connecting with yourself to truly understand yourself, where you need to put effort to heal and how you can move forward.
My experience
Self-reflection is a big part of my life and is something I have to do every day to feel in tune with myself, my mind, body and soul. I self-reflect to feel more in control of myself, my feelings and mind. It eases my anxiety and makes me feel calmer and ready to tackle any challenges that come my way throughout the day. I reflect in the morning and in the evening to prepare for my day and to reflect on my day. If I go without self-reflection for a few days, I tend to feel more flustered and less productive.
For example, if I am having more junk food, I take the time to reflect why. Often it is because my anxiety is higher. Or I haven’t reflected in a few days. Or I have not exercised so I am not connected to myself deeply and therefore feeling out of tune. This past week was a tough one for me as I returned to work after maternity leave. I had a lot of anxiety from starting my job again, not seeing my daughter as much and also was not able to complete the tasks I had set for myself.
I did not have the time to reflect on why I was feeling this way until the end of the week, at which time I realized I was feeling anxious because I had not taken time out for myself. To connect with myself, to exercise or to acknowledge that I am living a new normal now and it is ok to not complete all the tasks I had planned.
Without this ability to self-reflect, I would have continued to feel anxious, overwhelmed and continue on the cycle of feeling awful by not nourishing my body, mind and soul.
Scenarios
Imagine you wake up and you are not feeling like yourself, you go to your kitchen and notice that someone you live with has left their dirty dishes in the sink, you feel angry and you snap at them!
Now, many of us have experienced this type of scenario either ourselves or been witness to it. When this occurs to you, it is very important that in that day you take time to self-reflect on this scenario.
- Why did you wake up not feeling like yourself? What did you do the day previous? What did you eat? What has been on your mind?
- Why did you snap? Was it really the dirty dishes or was it something else? What is something about that particular person from a previous incident or are they unrelated to what you are truly trying to work through?
We all have experiences when we react a certain way or feel a certain way, it is so important to be able to understand WHY we feel that way and how we can heal and move forward so we do not continue to feel and react that way.
Essential Tips
- YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF ONLY YOURSELF!
You are not in control of anyone else. You cannot tell others what you think they should do, or not do or think. You also cannot force anyone to self-reflect, they have to want to do it on their own and in their own way.
You are the only person who is responsible to make yourself happy. No one else is responsible to make you happy. Only you can heal from the inside and live a more peaceful life on the outside. Materials goods and food can not replace the hard work of self-reflecting, healing and moving forward with a new perspective in life.
- Pen & Paper – Journaling
Use a pen and paper to write down you thoughts, feelings and emotions as you are self-reflecting. You can use a journal or you can write freely in a book. It is important to write it down because it helps to relieve some of the pressure and it also creates a document that you can revisit to reflect upon.
I have linked the blog post from last week’s episode above in the bullet point which has some great tips of how to get started with journaling. You can also get free access to my journaling tool when you sign up for my monthly newsletter.
It is very important that when you are self-reflecting that you continue to do so until you have discovered the why. The reason why you reacted as you did or felt as you did. This is the first step to understanding where you need to put your effort to heal. Once you have discovered the why, then you can start to create your action plan of how you will begin to heal. What will you do? What activities bring you joy and are your non-negotiables in your day?
If you want to start with some guided questions for various parts of your life, these 6 questions from Holstee are amazing to start with:
- MIND – Do you feel clear headed, engaged or intellectually challenged?
- BODY – Does your body feel healthy, nourished, strong?
- SOUL – Do you feel at peace and connected to the world around you?
- WORK – Do you feel interested in and fulfilled by your work?
- PLAY – Do you feel joyful? Are you engaging in activities that bring you joy?
- LOVE – Do you feel positive about the relationships in your life?
Therefore, the most important tip I can provide is to start self-reflecting today. Start with as much or as little time as you can, with whatever tools you have but start today. Begin to learn how to self-reflect so you can master this essential skill, which will allow you to weather any storm and create a strong and deep connection with yourself.
Deck of cards with prompting questions to get to know yourself deeper
Best Self – Courage over Comfort Deck
Get the Courage over Comfort deck with my affiliate link above!
How did you learn to do that? Podcast
The How did you learn to do that? Podcast shares stories of people who have made small daily commitments that have changed their lives. It has helped them discover their purpose, increase their level of happiness and become a higher version of themselves. Investing in yourself has the ability to catalyze your life from ordinary to extraordinary. Join us weekly as we explore the stories and lives of those around us!
Join us weekly as we explore the stories and lives of those around us!
